Mission

OK
I went to Medicine Buddha puja today and then listened to Heart Jewel in the car. That helped some. Florie told me a month ago about Lance Armstrong surviving puffler's - I didn't want to hear about anything then but today I have decided definitely no matter what I am NOT going to die from this. And I am Definitely not going to be getting freakin' treatments every 3 weeks forever either. I don't have control of every thing but I do have control over the decisions that I make and I get to decide.

So, for the first time since being diagnosed, I'm researching this crap. I have stage 4 Non small cell poorly differentiated favor adenocarcinoma. The doctor said that it is inoperable but I went on Lance Armstong's site and read these stories from 30 year olds with puffler's. From that I learned:

There is a procedure, called cherry picking where a doctor can go in and pluck out as much of the puffler's as possible. I read one survivors story and if it goes down enough it can be, if this doctor doesn't think so I'll just have to find another who can do that. One survivor had half a lung and could still go hiking and be active so that's the plan so far.

Another thing I learned is that I am lucky to have my pain gone without medication. I will say it again, my acupuncturist is a miracle worker, I haven't been in pain now for 6 or 7 weeks. I mean to get pins in you for an hour while you basically relax and to feel NO pain from that? Shwoo

So today my period started! I burst out laughing because I, for the VERY first time in my life, was happy to see it. I'm learning more and more about myself with this thing - there are things I don't want in life and I do want in life but most important to me is having the option to do even what I don't now desire.

Help? Everyone keeps asking me what they can do to help and thus far I've been like I don't know. But now I know

I have stage 4 Non small cell poorly differentiated favor adenocarcinoma if you know people who are in remission from this type of puffler's please let me know so that I can ask them about their doctor's/ treatments.