Statistics

I spoke to someone today who has the same type of puffler's as I do and it was in Stage 4 and had even moved into her brain and now she is cancer free. She had the genetic mutation so she was able to use Tarceva which apparently has a better rate of return, however they were still giving her 2 years to live. She said you can't listen to statistics, it's about the general population of people and doesn't apply to individuals. I'm in analytics I should recognize this. How would I forecast how something will act in the future? I would take the data set I had from the past and add factors like seasonality that are special to what I THINK my future data set would have and then make an assessment based on that. However I make up a Very small percentage of the data set so much so it's like working without data in order to forecast. So I have to stop thinking I have only 5 years left to live. I have to stop thinking that I'm going to be on maintenance chemo for the rest of my life. My plan is this, I am going to find a surgeon, after these 1 or 3 rounds of chemo to take out as much puffler's as possible. Then I'm going to heal. Once I'm playing sports again, then I may get some "maintenance chemo". I want it out, so it will be out. If you know of a surgeon willing to operate, let me know because that IS going to happen.

You know what's weird? Until 3 months ago I was trying so hard to realize that 'I may die today' as part of my Buddhist mediation and now I have to convince myself that I may NOT, well that I may not die in 5 years that is. The irony.

So I'm back to planning life
- I want to date, I'm not going to worry about telling them or not telling them about puffler's (hell they good die before me in a plane crash...lucky bastards)
- there are still more renovations I want to make on the house, maybe I should begin with that...


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On another note - pick up dodgeball could be about the most fun you can have on a warm Saturday afternoon. We had a little kid watching us, talking smack! I think he was just excited that grown ups also play like kids. I broke all my nails tuggin' balls away from this dude (this is street dodgeball, the rules sometimes change LOL).


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on another other note - I think the next time I have my chemo week I should get people to visit me each day. I hate being around people when I'm sick, but since this isn't a cold, I think it's too easy to wallow and let statistics and negative thoughts in by myself...