cooking class

Today we went back to the Block Center for their free cooking class for nutritional cancer fighting meals. we had black bean dip and wrap (the dip was SO good) and quinoa salad and even sorbet (which was really easy to make!). It was very healthy and good. So I lost 5 pounds I'm at 141 which for normal people my height is good but it isn't for me. I'm too thin, my underwear doesn't fit properly for the first time in life! So as well as my other missions (like beatin' this thing) I'm on a mission to gain weight. So beans, avocados and nuts here I come!

After cooking class we drove to Milwaukee (where we flew into)and walked around the lake which was very pretty. I was doing good with the pain, I'd taken 2.5 hydrocodones and it wasn't all gone but bearably there. Then right before we got on the plane I had an arm spasm and had to take Dex (steroids), good thing the surgery is soon. On the plane the pain came back and I took an Oxy but it didn't help, then it became worse and I was in the air crying in pain worrying about ODing on oxy - when did I take that stuff again? I finally waited what I thought was an hour and took another which took some of it away at first and is gone now. I pray to the Buddhas so much PLEASE let the pain I receive be preventing someone else's pain. I thought about it and even my enemies' pain. I actually don't have enemies, yes people are annoying - I've had colleagues who toot their own horn often, or bosses who have stressed out about the smallest thing stressing me out, or drivers who drive too slow and customers who are condescending but do I wish them THIS PAIN?
I do not and if I can prevent by begging and pleading and wishing that my pain prevents theirs then I gladly do it. PLEASE Buddhas, please listen to me. Please take away the pain of all living beings with my pain, please take away their bad karma so that they don't suffer like I'm suffering. Please let my pain have a purpose a meaning a goal, please, please Buddhas, please listen to me.

My sister picked us up from our much delayed flight, you know I think she is too dependent on me being the landlord. She says she wants to stay in this house when I pass away but I don't really think she will. I think she'll sell it and move to an apartment where there is a landlord who can take care of the problems. I have no problems with that, when I'm dead I could care less but it will be interesting to see. ... for someone else to see.

I want to renovate my kitchen, just knock down the wall and make it a bar but I want it to start Thursday so I can be out of the house for 3 days while it's done. William can start Monday which changes things so I may start when I go on vacation. ...or maybe not at all. I haven't wanted to buy anything or plan much after Friday. On amazon I have some books on hold until after the surgery. There are clothes that I saw, maybe after the surgery. Will I say the same thing for chemo? I called Dr. Brahmer about starting the Alimta back up and I have to take B12 shot and then wait a week. Meanwhile puffler's is screaming for more room in my body, and I have none to spare.

I also spoke to a Dr. Judy that my cousin Vanessa told me about she is in Fort Lauterdale and is supposed to be able to get rid of the pain in 3 days! Her website is http://www.cancerdetoxsecrets.com/ so I'll see about going to her and also getting sacral cranial therapy after the surgery but nothing is set in stone. I'm not gonna do Gershon therapy just yet I'm going to change my diet further (which in many ways is easier than my nutritionist's diet) and see... well this oxycodone is hitting me pretty hard gotta sleep.