Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Block Center

Was good yesterday, there is a lot to read and I'll be changing my diet a little to incorporate and take out some of the things the nutritionist recommended since their nutrition is based on specifically my situation. For example I can't have milk because it has casein in it and few eggs but I CAN have soy, since puffler's isn't hormone based. Also not Everything has to be organic, they have a list of items which are greatly affected by pesticides and ones that are not - greens are, mushrooms not as much. And I CAN have caffeine (or chocolate rather), just not the milk or sugar in it and not too much, but at least I can have some!

They also took 14 vials of blood to test for all sorts of deficiencies so that they can hone the plan even further. The doctor there recently met my doctor, Dr. Brahmer, and said she is so focused that her advice sounds sound. I will just take in addition supplements and get the Alimta in the mornings (supposed to be better on your body then). My mom felt very comfortable with them, I think more comfortable than she feels with my current doctor. Granted I am still comfortable with my current doctor I just wish she were closer.

There was also a mind body expert who talked to me about how I was handling the pain mentally and also gave me some more exercises to help with stress (one of which I tried last night but it wasn't the right one for the situation).

I couldn't sleep. I'm not angry, or in pain (well not unbearably so), or sad... I just couldn't stop thinking of the worse case surgery scenario which is that I end up paralyzed and my family is doing everything they can to keep me alive. Clearly I need to talk to them about that because if I'm paralyzed everything ceases - I won't get chemo, I won't take supplements, the eating plan is over. I want to eat chocolate tuxedo cheesecake, hot chocolate, mac and cheese and take pain meds and run, not walk into my next life.

So every time I closed my eyes I saw being paralyzed, I finally gave up trying and read a fantasy book instead. Good thing I got a nap in yesterday.

Today we'll probably go back to the Center for a cooking class and then just hang out until our late night flight.

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