Faith and Miracles

Or maybe just faith in miracles

today I gave my lungs love and then looked up miracles of people surviving stage 4. granted those people did a LOT of stuff that I am unwilling to do. I don't want to be sick and miserable for a 50/50 chance.

western medicine - it hurts, you feel sick AND it has only a 50 50 chance of working
eastern medicine - doesn't hurt, you don't feel sick AND it has only a 50 50 chance of working

I know, my friend says there are tons of people in Africa with HIV who have faith in the local doctors instead of Western medicine and suffer until they die. BUT my choices are suffer until a die if I use WESTERN medicine.

So I'm working on faith, faith that loving my lungs will help. Faith that Geshela and Buddha will help, faith that changing my eating habits, acupuncture, yoga and a peaceful mind will help.

faith in miracles - I like that better than hopelessness, I'm gonna try that instead. Maybe I will die... hee hee ok I'm definitely going to die but isn't hope, happiness, love, faith better than despair, loneliness, and anger.

So my first challenge came today when I was walking with my friend - coughing and having a tough time breathing - I had to give love to my lungs and not get angry that while I look like I can run a mile with no problem, currently, I cannot.

When I got back I listened to a lesson just as the background to what I was doing, but still just hearing snippets was enough to make me feel positive.