Friday, February 25, 2011

NEGATIVE

I'm negative for the EFGR test and EML4 test so I can't take the pill everyday. The one that has a high success rate, fewer side effects and you feel better not worse in a few weeks.

I don't know what to do - should I do nothing? The doctor says if I do nothing I have about 6 months to a year to live. i am terrified... I don't know, I think these other puffler survivors are stronger than me - they just go for it. My boss's boss sent me a link to a blog a colleague wrote and he's really positive from the beginning - smiles and armor on, ready to go to battle, like Wolverine. I'm more like Rogue (Can you take this mutation away?) or the kid that only prepared to help heal soldiers not go to battle myself.

Everyone wants me to act, to start some treatment NOW! But are you so brave?????

My fear is just different - I can handle the thought of death over the thought of pain.

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I went to dodgeball last night and caught 3 people's throws - even a guy's! I was even the last one standing and caught it and was able to bring someone else back in! Suuweet!! I'm missing the playoffs for dodgeball unfortunately to go to cancer treatment centers of america in Philly. I want to play dodgeball next season - it takes my mind off of the pain and puffler's entirely, but if I lose my hair - maybe they won't want to play with me... maybe I'll feel icky and won't be able to play.

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