Today Jennifer M. accompanied me to the doctor in Georgetown - they have a lot of resources but it took an hour before we were seen by the fellow and 90 min before we saw the doctor. At 11 though, Tiffany, from Hopkins called about an appointment. John, from the Jimmy V foundation sent them and email and now I have an appointment at noon tomorrow. Not to mention my CEO also called and they knew that I had an appointment before I even got around to telling them. (THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYONE)
The Gtown Doc said that in stage 2, puffler's is curable. Seriously, if that's true, then why don't we have a better form of early detection! If I survive this, I will be walking for early detection not 'the cure'. Did you also know that puffler in the lungs kills more women than puffler's in the colon and rectal, breast, and prostate combined. Why is there no early detection method - I get HIV tested every time I get a physical, why not test for puffler's?
Anyway as you can see the prognosis is not good and I am terrified into indecision - my friends and family have always said I was brave and I always told them that it wasn't true, the things that I am scared of are just different.
I'm scared of getting the port put in - not because of the surgery - but because it's the first change in this new life that I don't want to start. I want this nightmare to stop and go back to my real life. I repeat this wish so often - I feel like Dorthy, in her red shoes...
I want to close my eyes and tap my heels together three times. "there's no place like home." Wake up in my bed 8 months ago with no chest pains, or cough...
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